How to Prepare for the Post-Holiday Blues
Some call the holidays the season of joy. Others call it the season of mockery. Many fall somewhere in between.
We talk a lot about the holidays themselves. There's the cliché that it's a happy, cozy time filled with delicious family gatherings and traditions.
However, not everyone experiences this type of holiday. Grief, loss, and the stress of turmoil can affect mental health.
Then there's what happens when the silver and gold decorations are wrapped and the calendar flips to January 2. You may be feeling a little blue after the New Year, regardless of how you feel during the holidays.
You're not alone.
Here's what to do when the post-holiday blues hit, how to prepare, and helpful coping mechanisms so you can feel a little happier in January and beyond.
What's the post-holiday blues?
There aren't many studies on the emotions of Christmas, but an earlier 2006 survey from the American Psychological Association (APA) suggested that 78% of people often felt happy, while 68% often felt or sometimes tired.
Like Christmas emotions, the idea of the post-holiday blues hasn't been studied much, although some research and experts say it's quite common.
“The post-holiday blues is the sadness you feel after the holiday season is over,” says Angela Ficken, LICSW, a Boston-based psychotherapist.
It's a disappointment that comes after a busy season seeing family and friends. It's similar to what happens after highly anticipated events like holidays and weddings.
Rae Mazzei, Psy.D., B.C.B., an Arizona-based health psychologist, shares that common symptoms of post-vacation blues can include:
to regret the things he did or did not say or do
empty due to a reduced schedule with less or no celebrations
loneliness, with fewer people to see and events to attend
sadness because the holidays ended or weren't what you thought they would be
trouble sleeping due to stress or difficult emotions
What triggers the post-holiday blues?
A 2011 research review indicated a drop in the number of people using or entering psychiatric emergency departments, self-harming or attempting or dying by suicide as Christmas approached.
However, there was a general uptick after the holidays.
There are a number of reasons someone may experience post-holiday depression, notes Mike Dow, a Field Trip psychotherapist and author of The Brain Fog Fix, a New York Times bestseller.
These include:
that everyone had a lot of fun with loving families during the holidays
solitude
insulation
family issues, such as estrangement
pre-existing mental health issues
alcohol abuse or binge drinking while on vacation
Dow says loneliness and isolation are two of the biggest factors in the development of post-vacation blues. He says it makes sense based on epigenetics, or the study of how environmental and behavioral factors influence how genes work without altering DNA.
"The stress of loneliness can 'turn on' mental illness genes, especially in those with a personal or family history," says Dow.
On the other hand, Dow notes that people who enjoy spending time with family and friends can get a boost in feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.
When the season ends, so does that momentum, and the disappointment begins.
A survey of 1,000 Americans suggested that 47% of men and 40% of women drank excessively on New Year's Eve, more than on any other holiday.
In the survey, binge drinking was defined as five or more drinks for men and four or more for women in two hours.
The CDC defines binge drinking as four or more drinks on one occasion for women and five or more drinks on one occasion for men.
Although not looking at post-holiday feelings specifically, a 2020 study of people in Singapore linked heavy drinking to mental health issues and reduced quality of life.
Prepare for the post-holiday blues
You may think it's too early to think about the post-holiday blues, but Dow says it's never too early to have prevention plans.
"An ounce of prevention is better than cure."
— Mike Dow, psychotherapist
Set Vacation Boundaries
Set vacation limits
Post-holiday blues can be triggered in part by your experience over the holidays.
Feeling pressured to attend events with family members you have issues with or participate in traditions you don't enjoy can lead to feelings of frustration.
You can also look at other friends' happy posts on social media and feel envious.
"Set limits, especially if you're a people pleaser," says Dow.
Boundaries may mean skipping some family functions, but you can also find a compromise that puts a loved one at ease while protecting your sanity.
"If your mom wants you to come home for 10 days, but you're feeling increasingly anxious at home, take a weekend away," Dow suggests. "If you feel more comfortable in a hotel, then sleep there."
change your way of thinking
Mazzei points out that people can spend the holiday season dreading what comes next. She suggests removing these unnecessary thoughts through cognitive reframing.
"For example, you can reframe the thought 'January is going to be a terrible month' to 'Even though I'll miss the holidays, I'll focus on what's important to me right now and be grateful for the time I had on the holidays,'" says Mazzei.
Although there are no studies on cognitive reframing specifically related to the holiday season and after, a 2018 study of 201 people with severe mental illness and postpsychological stress disorder (PTSD) suggested that cognitive restructuring significantly reduced PTSD symptoms.
Establish a self-care routine
Sticking to a routine can be difficult during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, but Ficken says setting aside time for yourself can help you transition from season to season.
"The holidays and vacations may end, but your self-care routine remains," says Ficken. This consistency can help you overcome that depression.
Ficken says that this routine doesn't need to be elaborate. It could be just walking once a week or having coffee with a good friend every Friday morning.
"The holidays and vacations may be over, but your self-care routine remains."
—Angela Ficken, LICSW
Use the buddy system
Some people experience the post-holiday blues after the whirlwind of social events. Sudden loneliness can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Leaning on friends can help you continue to feel connected. If you anticipate the post-holiday blues, tell someone you trust.
"Connect with a friend and ask for what you need in the form of very specific, positive requests," says Dow. "It's so much easier for your best friend to text you every day if you ask him to."
Vague statements like "The weather after the holidays is no fun" may only elicit a nod rather than a helpful response from your friend.
During these conversations, be honest about his feelings.
"Look at your support system and share with them some of your post-holiday blues,"
says Kiana Shelton, LCSW, of Mindpath Health.
They may have similar feelings and you will feel less alone.
Practicing Gratitude
Practicing gratitude during the holiday season can allow the good feelings to continue throughout the year.
"Try to find three things you're grateful for every day," recommends Mazzei. "Continue this practice after the holidays."
Research from 2019 indicated that gratitude can increase life satisfaction.
Schedule events after the holidays
While the constant stream of parties and gatherings can be stressful, not everyone looks forward to the extra downtime after the holidays.
Shelton suggests making plans to continue to do so with those whose company she'd like to keep, especially if the holidays are a reminder that you don't see each other often enough.
"Some of our post-holiday blues is thinking about how often we see family and friends for the rest of the year," Shelton says. "Putting plans into motion can give you more to look forward to."
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